Letting Go SeriesTHEM - We have no power over other people to make them behave the way we want. Attempts to make others act the way we see fit is the cause of most conflicts in the world and we should avoid it, although this can be difficult.   Trying to influence others will often end in failure and resentment from the other person. If asked by someone to offer an opinion on a subject, we can do so, but we should do it honestly and without any agenda other than providing them help. We can set ourselves as positive examples for others, but we shouldn’t be disappointed when they don’t follow us.
ME - We have complete power to conduct our own behavior and our lives the way we choose. Hoping that others will solve all our problems or wishing that fate will somehow intervene on our behalf is a path of weakness. Self-direction is our greatest strength in terms of building successful relationships, reaching our goals, building a sense of community and finding a place of peace in the world. Our personal power is given to us from from the moment we are born and it can propel us through a lifetime of promise, transformation and joy.
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Letting Go SeriesWe sometimes find ourselves saying something on the order of:
 The truth is that there are very few situations in life where we are so completely powerless and stuck that nothing can be changed.
In most cases we can make fundamental changes that can transform our lives for the better. Our problem is with our self-limiting belief systems that keep us and hold us in place, even though a situation harms us emotionally and may even cause us physical pain from stress and tension. Most people who have made significant and lasting change in their lives, do not look back and say: I wish I still had that terrible job, that harmful relationship or that intolerable stress in my life. Every day the door is open for us to stand up and walk through when we are ready to change the parts of our lives that are no longer working for us. We can think our options through thoroughly, make a complete plan, step through the door and begin to set ourselves free. Letting Go SeriesThe human mind is an amazing machine capable of great thought and ideas, but it can also create a fantasy world that may set us up for unnecessary failure.  Plans and goals are positive and useful tools to help us navigate life, but cementing plans and goals as expectations is dabbling in magical thinking that leads us to needless suffering.
Thoughts about what the future holds are just notions that we create in our minds and are not a part of the real world. When we choose to decide that these thoughts WILL happen, WHEN we imagine them, HOW we imagine them, we are setting unreasonable expectation that may never be delivered. We take a thought and turn it into our demand on the world. Sadly, we do not run the world and every attempt to decide how the world will be exactly ends in sadness and longing. Longing for things that in the end, may never have been right for us or not ever had the ability to bring us happiness. Life is an amazing journey of twists, turns and opportunities:
Letting Go SeriesSometimes we find ourselves repeatedly disappointed in another person’s behavior. Perhaps we make excuses for them. “This will never happen again”, “They were having a bad day”, “I’m sure they understand this is unacceptable”, etc.  Sometimes those kinds of thoughts that we have about that person may be true, but other times our experience tells us that we can not depend on them in the way we desire. The practical experience we have with this person becomes the knowledge of what we can expect in the future. This is where we must use our knowledge of them and see them with our fresh eyes. This fresh view allows us to see what is true.
It doesn’t mean they are failing us on purpose or that they are thoughtless or unkind. This is simply the way they are in the world and we should accept them for what they are. We now have this view, which we can use to put away previous expectations of them and stop our self-inflicted cycle of disappointment. We all fall short from time, so we may disappoint others in our lives from time to time as well. We’re only human and need to give ourselves grace, as we do for others. |
BLOGAuthorAfter trying every conventional therapy for crippling, chronic low-back pain, I discovered the problem was completely within my control. I experienced an amazing health transformation in a matter of weeks. Mind-Body medicine worked for me, and it can for can too! Archives
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